I wonder if I will ever grow to forget.
I wonder why I forgave you so quickly…
but not myself.
And it doesn’t matter how many showers I take;
for I cannot wash away my mistakes.
My
Mistakes.
Right?
Mine.
You have imprinted on me, in the absolute worst and actual way.
Nothing but a name,
a number.
A number on some fucked up list.
Trust me, no matter what number I was, I came in last.
Never in my life have I felt so alone;
never in my life have I felt so wrong.
Never in my life have I wanted to go home so badly,
even while lying in my own bed.
I was sitting there, and so were you.
Before I knew it, I nodded yes;
even when I didn’t want you to.
And there you went, piercing my innocence.
Slowly
Quickly
Painfully
Sadly
Lively
Silently
Quietly
Emotionless
Brokeness
Lifeless.
So, so lifeless.
I woke up.
It ended.
That pain is a piece of my story but you are not in it.
What I wear is my decision and who I pursue is my decision.
I’ll wear shorts if I want, it’s up to me.
You need to be respectful out of common courtesy.
No, I didn’t want this to happen.
Yes, I saw it coming.
Yes, I thought I wanted it.
And yes, it is ok to change my mind.
