Drama, self-loathing, misplaced emotion and poor investments of energy are what a battle inside one’s self speaks strongly of. A story is always going on in front of us and often we won’t get it. The ego and contingency of this tale in front of us called life, will not fit together. One can have ego without making everyone else or the shit that happens in life, make sense. Accepting that sounds of madness…but not accepting so is truer madness and it shows. A person who tries to make all the tales they hear mesh into the same book without patience and the known ignorance of being not omnipotent, cause we’re goddamn humans, is a person who will be in a lot of pain out of illogic.
There is a greatness to be found outside the self but it can’t be accessed if the inner self is in turmoil. All the fight, all the concern turned to worry, all the need to critique and battle and bash which is spent on one’s self is misdirected and stupid. There is a great world out there, and the same work extends to make you better in that world or make that world better. The self is a fluid beast proved to exist by action IN that world. Getting stuck fighting one’s self is a fallacy because there is only one you. You can’t battle yourself, you can hurt yourself and find zero good. The slave mentality that you deserve to be hurt is taught by people who run from pain, ruled by fear, afraid to fight anyone but themselves. As you learn, so you do differently. Hurting one’s self is using fear as a growth tool and it doesn’t fucking work that goddamn way. You are proved real in your actions so examining them and harping on them from a past tense is obsessing on something no longer real instead of making new reality. While there is great use to creating yourself in a good way, building one’s self up, having fight against yourself is using fuel the wrong way. That mettle is needed against the world’s force, the move to change your path and the world you’re stuck in.
A need of enemies is a natural state. Fearful people believe this and we live in a fearful state of waring tribes who will not trust each other. Business is always trying to rob one another in a way nobody can notice or has made rules against. Since the culture we live is governed by those groups, we find ourselves working the same microcosm in our own heads and shoes. Only once an enemy is identified are the scared OK. This is why megalomaniacs are able to become successful tyrants to scared and impoverished nations. This is why the most individualistic religions feed those who are scared and are the most popular. This is why the world is trying to fix broken things and killing itself instead of prospering and helping itself grow. Because we want a fight so bad we’re killing ourselves.
