7-7:30 AM

Today is my first day at work.
I got a seasonal job for my last semester here at Cal State Fullerton.
I don’t have to be in until noon, but of course I’m wide awake at seven.
My roommate is fast asleep and she’s a really light sleeper and I really need to pee so I drag myself out of bed as peacefully as possible and of course it’s not peaceful enough and she wakes up.
She tosses and turns and inhales deeply, losing the dream she was in and says, “good morning, Jess”.
I say “good morning” and tip toe out of my room even though it doesn’t matter because of course I woke her up.

After using the bathroom, I return back to my room and of course the door makes a noise resembling a moose in labor so my roommate wakes up again.
I approach my bed trying to go back to sleep but it denies me like a second date.
I just lie there in bed thinking about how annoying it is that I can’t go back to sleep.
Snapchat: “thanks for not inviting me…”
Instagram: “oh my God, she cut her hair?! *double tap*
Facebook: “no lady, I don’t want to join your 21 day fix diet stupid eat lettuce and jog in place group.”
Twitter: “omg so bored #help”

Nope.  Still not tired.
I figure I might as well try to do some homework before work.
So I sneak out of bed like I’m trying to spy on Santa Claus.
My roommate rolls over in her bed trying to shield all of the ruckus behind her as I seek my books and my laptop so I can go out into the living room and do some homework…
AKA go on the four social media sites I just went on and continue to be bored because no one has posted anything new because it has literally only been like three minutes.

I forgot what book I needed for this stupid homework so I gotta go online and check.
I go to access wifi and of course it says that there’s no connection.
OF COURSE THERE’S NOT.
I think in my head, “yeah, well there’s also no connection between a lot of couples but they get married anyways”.

I silently apologize to my dad, as I know that we are on the brim of having to pay extra for another gigabit of data since we use the internet without connecting to wifi far too often, but it’ll just take a sec.  I log on and see what books I need to do my homework and of course it is the last book I have stacked in my pile of books on my desk.  I quietly dissect the pile, using my Jenga skills and actually manage to retrieve my book without causing WWIII.
I gather my book, lap top, binder and notebook and exit my room trying to escape the entrapped ambiance of screaming silence.

When I reach the table, I go to turn on my computer and nothing happens.  It’s dead.
OF COURSE IT IS.
I somehow manage to sneak back into my own room; I feel like I’m sixteen trying to sneak a boy into the house through a window when really I’m twenty-two and I just need my laptop to not be dead right now.
Don’t wake her up.  Don’t wake her up.  Don’t wake her up.
I squat down like a catcher and try to propel the charger out of the extension cord plug and it won’t come out of the plug.
Don’t wake her up.  Don’t wake her up.  Don’t wake her up.

I slam my head against my desk as I pull at the plug like I’m some underpaid kid trying to get his neighbors lawn-mower to start.
Don’t wake her up.  Don’t wake her up.  Don’t wake her up.
Holding everything in, I don’t want to wake her up!
Just as I am about to maneuver this stupid thing out of it’s beholder…my. alarm. starts. going. off.
Why do I have an alarm going off at frican 7:17 AM if I don’t need to be conscious or alert until like 10:45!?!
I rip my phone out of my back pocket as if it is a pocket knife and I am under attack.
I hold my right thumb against the home button on my iPhone because that’s apparently how technology works now and it’s not working.  It doesn’t recognize my thumb print.
C’MON STEVE JOBS!
I roll my eyes and type in my passcode as if I am some peasant girl from 2010 with a flip phone and I silence my alarm.

I apologize to my roommate for waking her up again and leave my room, exhausted.
I go to plug my laptop in to charge and realize that I never actually managed to get it out of the plug. So it’s still in my room and I’m still here and it’s still not time for work yet.

Done.