No, I didn’t want this to happen.

Yes, I saw it coming.

Yes, I thought I wanted it.

And yes, it is ok to change my mind.

She is seven and I am twenty-five and somewhere in between two-ish decades, the dictionary changed for me.

f it never got dark,
If we never had bad days,
If we never closed our eyes,
We wouldn’t know what stars were.
We would never dream.

They name hurricanes after people for a reason.
They predict a storm: people either choose to evacuate or stay
Aka
The doctors give a diagnosis, parents/friends/family either choose to leave or stay. Ignore or support.

And I don’t want someone who is going to push me away, I want someone who is going to pull me so close I can’t breathe.

No amount of gatorade is going to make these feelings go away.
No amount of gatorade is going to help me catch my breath…
Not like it used to.
Not really.