Honestly, I don’t even really know what to say.
I know I have a lot to say, but have no clue how to form these chaotic thoughts into professional sentences.

I know I miss you
But you’re mine
I know I love you
But you hide
I know I want to be yours
But you’re pushing me away
You’re pushing me away while I’m holding on even tighter than before because lately I’ve felt


And I don’t want someone who is going to push me away, I want someone who is going to pull me so close I can’t breathe.

Someone who is going to text me how many minutes there are left in the day until I see her.
Someone who is going to surprise me with my favorite candy and flowers when I’m on my period.
But not just any flowers.
And roses.

I want someone who is going to invite me everywhere because she’s so eager to introduce me to everyone.
As her girlfriend.
Someone who compliments me when I am feeling confident and when I am feeling broken.
Someone who isn’t afraid of my bad days.
Someone who knows how to comfort me when I’m sad and feeling trapped by my own thoughts.
I want someone who is going to hold me.
Hold my hand everywhere we go and kiss my cheek sporadically.

I want romance.
I want bubble baths with candles.
I want to make love, not have sex.
I want to celebrate Valentines Day and wear a dress you helped me pick out after I tried on 25 dresses and ended up picking the first one.
I want anniversaries.
I want cards with messages in them that I will reread from time to time.

I want kisses…
kisses that feel like butterfly wings on my lips.
I want hugs…
hugs that feel like I’m putting on my comfiest winter coat.

I don’t know if this is what I want or if this is what I deserve.
All I know is, I want it all with you.

And it’s funny because I’m writing all of this as I wear your sweatshirt to bed.
And I just took off the earrings you got me.
But where are you?
I have your things but I don’t have you.
And it hurts.
Please come back soon.
Love, your girlfriend who misses you

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